A)
I, Milton Christiansen, being of sound mind and rock hard sexy body, do hereby declare all legal jargon to be a load of crap. I also voice my sincere belief that anyone who actually NEEDS fine print is one of the following:

1. A CON ARTIST

2. A SLIMEBALL

3. A LAWYER

4. WICKED BORING

5. All of the above; A POLITICIAN

I would like to propose that all legal documents be done electronically, thereby saving an area of forest the size of Washington hourly. I freely admit that this would cause said state to suffer a severe economic downturn, but declare that I am not responsible for any damages would result from this plan.

B)
1.
Persons who do not fall under categories 1-5 in section A include BETH'S DAD, who, according to my first impressions, is NORMAL, if technically a lawyer.
2.
I hereby declare the above document to be NULL and VOID, and point out to anyone that would use it against me that he is a MORON. In the event of my passing I will to him what my dog last ate.