We here at thoughtsfromchemistry have noticed a string of low quality posts of late. We apologize for this inconvenience and have taken steps to correct the problem. We thank the…. ahem, loyal and attentive readers for their input on this issue.
As usual, the problem lies with the editors. They have been falling asleep during meetings, taking too much sick time, and in general being about as useful as a load of bricks. This is not to say that a load of bricks cannot be useful; some of our greatest and most historically important buildings were made from bricks, it’s just that most bricks don’t edit very well.
Our apologies to any bricks that might be offended by this statement.
It may, however, be appropriate to point out that that most editors don’t brick very well, though we’ve never had them try it.
We have done drug tests on the editors, and the results were rather disappointing. Not only did they test negative for interesting things like cocaine, ice and marijuana, they tested positive for very high levels of various prescription drugs. Upon questioning the editors we found out that this was due to their habit of raiding the medicine cabinet, mixing drugs at random, and doing semi-scientific experiments on themselves. In addition to that they had been playing computer games at their desks, raiding the break room fridge, and leaving plastic cups in the paper disposal bin. While this is rather unusual behavior for most people it appears to be perfectly appropriate for editors.
It would be greatly appreciated if the readers did not inform the editors of the findings of this report. We currently have a Pekinese and a canary in the job, and we’re not sure how they would handle it. Actually, we never told the editors anything. It might not even be their fault, we don’t know. It’s always nice to have some professional yet distant person to blame for any situation, and editors fit the bill nicely. Usually one would say it was the accountants, or better yet the CEO, but since thoughtsfromchemistry has neither accountants nor CEO’s we can’t do that. In all likelihood the blame should go to the writers, but they’re attending an international convention right now and can’t be reached.
Again, thank you for your patience.
As usual, the problem lies with the editors. They have been falling asleep during meetings, taking too much sick time, and in general being about as useful as a load of bricks. This is not to say that a load of bricks cannot be useful; some of our greatest and most historically important buildings were made from bricks, it’s just that most bricks don’t edit very well.
Our apologies to any bricks that might be offended by this statement.
It may, however, be appropriate to point out that that most editors don’t brick very well, though we’ve never had them try it.
We have done drug tests on the editors, and the results were rather disappointing. Not only did they test negative for interesting things like cocaine, ice and marijuana, they tested positive for very high levels of various prescription drugs. Upon questioning the editors we found out that this was due to their habit of raiding the medicine cabinet, mixing drugs at random, and doing semi-scientific experiments on themselves. In addition to that they had been playing computer games at their desks, raiding the break room fridge, and leaving plastic cups in the paper disposal bin. While this is rather unusual behavior for most people it appears to be perfectly appropriate for editors.
It would be greatly appreciated if the readers did not inform the editors of the findings of this report. We currently have a Pekinese and a canary in the job, and we’re not sure how they would handle it. Actually, we never told the editors anything. It might not even be their fault, we don’t know. It’s always nice to have some professional yet distant person to blame for any situation, and editors fit the bill nicely. Usually one would say it was the accountants, or better yet the CEO, but since thoughtsfromchemistry has neither accountants nor CEO’s we can’t do that. In all likelihood the blame should go to the writers, but they’re attending an international convention right now and can’t be reached.
Again, thank you for your patience.
posted by Milton at 9:42 PM
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