Rural Maine Air!

Clean, healthy, and environmentally safe; now this amazing product can be yours FREE! All you need to do is pay a small shipping and handling fee. Its proven health benefits* will be sure to improve everything about your day. Just imagine; waking up in the morning to a breath of fresh Maine air! Life will never be the same again!

Ingredients: Nitrogen, Oxygen, Carbon Dioxide, Argon, Hydrogen, ozone, methane, carbon monoxide, helium, neon, krypton, xenon, water vapor, evaporated oils, blackflies, ragweed pollen, tree pollen, bacteria, mold, cfc's, hfc's, sulphur, dioxin, and farts from really fat Maine women

* This statement has not been approved by the FDA, and heaven help them if it ever is.

WARNING! May contain traces of nuts, as well as squirrel droppings

For a bottle of free Maine air please leave a comment with your name and address. Heck, I'll even ship for free.