Saturday, April 02, 2005

Today I engaged in a multitude of noble and valiant pursuits; I promoted world peace, I saved a small country from starvation, and I convinced myself not to eat the ice cream in the freezer.
Ok, so I didn't manage to save anyone from starvation, and I didn't promote world peace. In fact, the only reason why I could resist the ice cream in the freezer was that I had already eaten it, making it..... no longer an issue.
I am a deacon at my church. I'm not sure why. I'm certainly not a model Christian, though I suppose no Christian is. I guess the people who voted on the new deacons just thought I looked nice in a suit and didn't vandalize buildings.
Being a deacon I have certain responsibilities. This month it is my job come to church a half hour before everyone else and start everything up. I unlock the doors, turn on and adjust the sound system, unlock the classrooms and turn on the lights, and do other interesting things like that.
I came to church with high expectations. Not that starting things up would be interesting, or that everything would go smoothly, but that I'd screw up and have something interesting to write about. I failed miserably. I did have the opportunity to view old ladies arrive half an hour early and sit in the pews for no reason at all, but that's not new.
After church I went home, took a nap, and after sundown went online. I randomly started messing with the google image search filters. I turned the filters up to "strict" and counted the number of hits. I then turned it down one level to "moderate" and counted the results again. Still searching the same term, I turned them off all together, and counted the results. To my surprise there were fewer hits on the lowest search level than on the highest. In other words, when the pictures of sexy nude chicks, marijuana and Rush Limbaugh were left in, there weren't as many pictures. (Before you ask, I was searching "Hong Kong", sorry if you were expecting something juicy.)
I sat back and scratched my head. How could this be? There must be a secret society of porn sites putting their wares on the screens of grannies and church school kids across the country, but taking them off the unfiltered levels. Or better yet, the strict filtering left in things like "big bird" and smiling families, but the unfiltered setting took them out. Who wants to see big bird when looking for porn? Then again, who uses google image search to look at porn anyway?

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