The Oath of the Cultural Christian
I will, to the best of my ability, be the best cultural Christian I can be. I will uphold the Bible, but never actually read it. I will go to church on such holidays as Christmas, Easter, and whenever mother comes to visit. I will fervently pray whenever something bad happens, but never at any other time. I will honor the president as Vicarus Filii Dei, especially if he caters to the evangelical vote. I will hate gays, jews, muslims, buddists, liberals, and people from New York. I will never actually speak to these people, or try to witness to them (except for the liberals). I shall forever stay faithful to my home church, Laodicea, and the values it upholds.
Comming soon! "Oath of the Cultural Adventist"!
I will, to the best of my ability, be the best cultural Christian I can be. I will uphold the Bible, but never actually read it. I will go to church on such holidays as Christmas, Easter, and whenever mother comes to visit. I will fervently pray whenever something bad happens, but never at any other time. I will honor the president as Vicarus Filii Dei, especially if he caters to the evangelical vote. I will hate gays, jews, muslims, buddists, liberals, and people from New York. I will never actually speak to these people, or try to witness to them (except for the liberals). I shall forever stay faithful to my home church, Laodicea, and the values it upholds.
Comming soon! "Oath of the Cultural Adventist"!
posted by Milton at 6:35 PM
1 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Post a Comment
<< Home