All 8th grade girls hate me. I don't know why. It isn't that much of a loss I suppose, they're annoying anyway. I just don't understand why they all intuitively hate my guts.
Maria came to school today asking for my key to the house. Apparently she had locked herself out. I told her where the spare key was, and she went back home.
When I went home that afternoon, I was not surprised to find that she had carefully locked the door after leaving the house again. I was also not surprised that she hadn't put the key back. I went around to each of the sliding doors, checking them to see if she had failed to put the stupid stick behind them. She hadn't failed. In fact, she had carefully barricaded each of them with a monomaniacal determination. I tried the windows. The 8th grade girl next door looked at me reproachfully. "Good luck getting in" she said, her voice dripping with sarcastic glee.
I tried my bedroom window. The screen was locked. I tried pulling down the upper panel of the sliding window. To my surprise, it opened! Now I had a 18 by 18 hole 5 feet off the ground. I jumped for the roof ledge and missed. I then tried pushing off from the side of the house as I jumped, and managed to grip a shingle. As I wormed my way inside through the hole feet first I said "I am having good luck actually, thanks."

Now she REALLY hates me